Five minute version of It makes a lovely light
by Ivette Boveda
Summary: This is a condensed, version of said episode, in parody form. Ep Spoilers galore! Disclaimer: the five minute parody format is not mine, I just borrowed it.


Scene 1  
  
Ship Rommie: Reactor overload sooner than you think  
  
Dylan: Rommie! Shut down the wachamacallit, while I conveniently reach the critical area at the last possible second  
  
Scene 2  
  
All: Surprise!  
  
Dylan: So many candles….  
  
Harper: Tyr rendered…….  
  
Beka: Shut up!  
  
Scene 3  
  
Beka: So, Tarn Vedra has emotional significance for you, and so if I wanted to go you would be easily convinced?  
  
Dylan: Yes.  
  
Beka( behind his back): Yes! (to him) Well I have I way for us to get there. Here are the plans as a present for me, I mean, you  
  
Scene 4  
  
Tyr: I don't wanna go to Tarn Vedra. It's too dangerous  
  
Beka: But they like, have weapons and stuff .  
  
Tyr: Alright, I'll stay around. Weapons are cool!  
  
Scene 5  
  
Harper: is the mysterious doo-hikey…?  
  
Beka: ssh! That's for another episode.  
  
Harper: Sorry.  
  
Scene 6  
  
Dylan: The path to Tarn Vedra looks dangerous and it was written by a nutcase. Should I be worried?  
  
Beka: No.  
  
Dylan: Okay let's go.  
  
Scene 7  
  
( time passes and they have gone through part of the journey)  
  
Twin black holes: We're bored, let's trap the Andromeda between us.  
  
  
  
  
  
Scene 8  
  
Beka: We're stuck  
  
Dylan: Go take a break  
  
Beka: Why?  
  
Twin holes: So, you'll have a chance to take flash, dummy, now take it!  
  
Beka: Who said that?  
  
Dylan: Said what?  
  
Beka: Nothing.  
  
Scene 9  
  
Beka: Hey Trance  
  
Trance: I 'm gonna faint and be in a critical condition  
  
Beka: Why? To push me over the edge?  
  
Trance: Well.. uh…*faints*  
  
Scene 10  
  
Beka: What's wrong with her?  
  
Rev: How the smeg should I know? I'm a Wayist, not a doctor.  
  
Beka: why don't you conveniently go so that I can make flash.  
  
Rev: Okay.  
  
Scene 11  
  
Trance*wakes up*: Flash, bad  
  
Beka: Flash, good.  
  
Scene 12  
  
Dylan: Good job.  
  
Beka: You're such a smug smeghead!  
  
Dylan: huh?  
  
Beka: Sorry. I always have severe moodswings  
  
Dylan: you do?.. Anyway.. take a break…  
  
Black holes: so you can take more flash…  
  
Dylan: huh?  
  
Beka: I don't hear anything..  
  
Dylan: and so I can read this diary, which I should have read before embarking on this trip.  
  
Beka: No you can't! It's mine! Mine!  
  
Scene 13  
  
mins later  
  
Beka: Sorry  
  
Dylan: No problem. I'm a nice guy.  
  
Black holes: Why the frell is she taking flash in plain site of Andromeda sensors??  
  
  
  
Scene 14  
  
Harper: Beka, flash sux, it like makes people crazy and stuff  
  
Beka: mind your own bizwax or else.  
  
Harper: Okay.  
  
Scene 15  
  
Beka: I am Beka Valentine! I know the way to Tarn Vedra!  
  
Dylan: On second thought, let's not go to Tarn Vedra, it is a silly place.  
  
Beka: Chicken! Puck Puck Puck!  
  
Dylan: Go rest!  
  
Beka: Are you threatening me?  
  
Tyr: Beka is on drugs.  
  
Dylan: What? Aside from her severe mood swings , she has no symptoms.  
  
Scene 16  
  
Dylan: Gimme the flash bottle  
  
Beka: okay, but only if you catch it so I can do one more slip jump.  
  
Dylan: okay.  
  
Scene 17  
  
(in V-deck cell)  
  
Beka: Well, I'm gonna just pace around and mumble to myself until Rev shows up for me to shoot him.  
  
Scene 18  
  
Rev: Don't feel guilty about Beka's taking flash,  
  
Trance: Same to you.  
  
Scene 19  
  
Beka: Withdrawl sucks. Gimme more flash!  
  
Rev: No  
  
Scene 20  
  
Dylan: Let's get outta here.  
  
Tyr: Hey you went the wrong way!  
  
Dylan: It's Beka's fault  
  
Tyr: Sure, blame her  
  
Scene 21  
  
Beka(taunting): I'm driving from the slip core! I'm driving from the slip core!  
  
Scene 22  
  
Rev(who was shot): I need to speak to Dylan about guns being left around.  
  
Scene 23  
  
Harper: Beka got control of the ship because of my overrides.  
  
Dylan: Thanx a lot!  
  
Scene 24  
  
Beka: What are you doing here? It's not the last possible second before the ship explodes.  
  
Dylan: oh well.  
  
Rommie: it's the last possible second.  
  
Beka: might as well suffer from overdose.  
  
Dylan: piloting and saving the ship at the last second.  
  
Scene 25  
  
Dylan: wakey wakey. How are you?  
  
Beka: What happend  
  
Dylan: I saved the ship(again) and ….  
  
Beka: oh no! I shot the wayist, but I did not shoot the Nietzschean.  
  
Dylan: that too  
  
Beka: will I always have this addiction?  
  
Dylan: not unless the plot calls for it. 


End file.
